Dating Get: Three Lesbians Decide To Try the XO Dating Application You Need Not | Autostraddle

Dating Download is actually a new ongoing collection in which Shelli, Dani and Drew test the newest or most ignored of online dating software you do not have to. Now they truly are providing the entire down load on XO.

But very first, why are they also achieving this, and exactly what can you obtain from it?

Listed Here Is
to share with you:

Irrespective of having the ability to utilize Dani & Drew and generating one of my personal brand-new favored slack stations — I favor online dating and that I like understanding every aspect of it. We provide some gender and online dating advice and require to remain through to what’s occurring in both of these spheres. I have used online dating programs previously however as my primary way to obtain conference individuals to kick it with. I am extremely comfortable increasing on the individual from the party which has caught my interest and flirting with these people until we at least change Instagram handles. While I get online dating inside electronic world i take advantage of social media marketing as an alternative. Sliding in DMs and quote tweet flirting to my minds’ material.

By utilizing social networking as a pseudo dating application in past times, I was able to find slightly history in the person beyond their unique image and some lines in a profile. When you are from the applications they can be a significant miss if you are a queer, lesbian identifying, black colored girl. That you do not understand who is fetishizing you, if someone is attempting to use you as something to undo their discovered racist actions or genuinely if a girl is going to fit along with you just to say 3 emails later on their cishet boyfriend merely desires see the girl with a lady.

The pandemic began essentially at the beginning of outside months. The ability to aim for walks and crave face-to-face far away was actually even more obtainable. Nevertheless now that people are about to educate yourself on just what skip Rona’s twice removed cousin Influenza is going to give the party we have to end up being additional cautious. Therefore since making use of programs could the best method to satisfy men and women and meet your own matchmaking requirements, I wanna see just what it’s really like away within these digital roadways.

Shelli’s settings:

Distance – 50 kilometers // I won’t feel terrible about perhaps not providing gasoline money as much as this length.

Era – 32-45 // The nearer to 45 the higher.

My primary software picture

Im fascinated with dating programs. I favor to get to know folks in individual and that I look for I interact with men and women better when meeting all of them physically — or perhaps on Instagram and Twitter — although desire for matchmaking software goes on. I think I really like the reminder of the many individuals in the whole world. I enjoy screenshot absurd pages and send these to my friends. Everyone loves the exhilaration of a match, the enjoyment of first flirts. I have merely met a couple on online dating programs that generated good experiences and none was actually anything severe, but I continue to love the act of employing online dating apps.

Pre-pandemic internet dating apps were truly merely a supplement to conference people in person. But now it really is generally all we’ve got except DM slides. The past six months i am on Tinder constantly. I satisfied a lot of people — those who I talked to for hours via book, regarding phone, on FaceTime and Zoom. Eventually, certain, i assume i am seeking to fall in really love and stay like wow cannot believe occurred on Tinder. But I do not truly expect it. Even during the pandemic it really is a lot more the fun of chance and meeting a individual and achieving an excuse to put on makeup and get butterflies during my stomach.

Certainly one of my personal two positive internet dating software encounters originated when I had been examining a shitty online dating app earlier on in 2010. Therefore while I would want to point out that I’m just taking part in this for analysis or since it is enjoyable to work with Shelli and Dani, I’d be lying basically said there was clearlyn’t a tiny sound in my own head that believes whether an app is right or not I might fulfill someone. As well as that to take place within the guise of operating? Well, I


a Capricorn!

Drew’s configurations:

Length – 10 miles // I used to have my range setup wider because LA is indeed spread-out, however when somebody travels too much it does increase the limits. Really don’t want to feel pressured getting sex with someone simply because they drove an hour to see me personally. I’ll save yourself my cross country flirting and pining for Instagram and Twitter.

Age – 26-44 // we accommodate with far more folks while I lower the age and periodically i really do — I think maybe people in their particular early 20s tend to be more comfortable with transness — but I for ages been somebody who would rather date older. My personal perfect is 28-34. It isn’t really that i’d never date somebody a year or two more youthful than me personally, but In my opinion it is unlikely I would meet them on an app.

Drew’s go-to photo

I am very thinking about online dating and matchmaking society, especially the stigma that is out there around satisfying folks on the internet. I find that in individuals my personal get older and more mature, we were available for the genesis of online dating programs. From those old advertisements for into fevered, swiping culture we exist in today. Stuff has changed vastly but there is however this sense of “oh you met on an app? Like fulfilling people in person has actually more merit and ensures a longer enduring relationship.

We myself personally was an app hound. Everytime another one falls I’m on it. I have found online dating and software to be more available to me. I technically have four tasks, several staying in creative areas. That kind of work takes a great deal from me personally as well as the end of a single day the worst thing I typically would like to do is go end up being around other folks. Dating applications give me exclusive and tailored connection with obtaining one on a single connections with others just who I think are hot and fascinating. Actually we have now both collectively consented we find each other hot and interesting. The majority of the guess-work is performed! In my opinion it’s therefore cool and enjoyable, even when I don’t delight in every aspect of the application. Whenever that occurs I at the least have one thing to tweet pertaining to.

I am into reviewing these programs because hey, then? This may assist some one with a busy existence particularly my very own narrow down what application works well with their particular life style. I’m so into watching exactly how friendly these apps should be folks recognize just like me: excess fat, black colored, lesbian ladies, and those that don’t keep those identities. Now that the audience is in a pandemic, apps are becoming my primary way of chatting with men and women, pals or current/potential fans. My twitter and instagram DMs will always open but i love committing me toward matchmaking software experience. I am seriously looking for some body during this little research therefore we’ll see how well that goes. Can I find love? You need to keep tuned in.

Dani Janae’s Settings:

Era: 26 – 47, I’m 27 so 25-27 is much like the best i shall get easily. The earlier the better I think and whenever people becomes close to that 47 I am not worried.

Length: 159 kilometers, I had to visit out this far because there was actually not one person near myself. Despite these configurations I get an individual find every couple times and nothing for a time.

My personal visit matchmaking app pic

What’s the application?

Recently we have been evaluating new dating software
! an online dating app that desires to rewrite the rules of finding love online through games as its primary source of helping customers select contacts. It’s one of many newer internet dating programs about world and what undoubtedly intrigued you many ended up being their own vow of prioritizing inclusivity. The creators inspire playfulness in an effort to create a more authentic relationship from the extremely start. We downloaded, added our very own photos and surely got to flirting – really, experimented with anyway. Continue reading in regards to our critiques!!

Prepare your: Bette, Alice, Dana


I found myself anticipating XO getting sort of like all the others however with the added help of utilizing a game title as an icebreaker versus, I don’t know — stating hi?

Right from the start, we appreciated the minimalism of this software. It is very clean, the pictures are pretty straight forward but lovable and it’s really very intuitive. Next, nearly all of it moved downhill for me personally.

As I began swiping we ran off options pretty fast. My configurations are not all of that wild therefore I only chalked it to it being a newer app about scene which could not have got many users but. When I opened my settings a little more though, we started acquiring cishet guys inside my deck of users to swipe on. As I opted, I especially selected not to see or even be observed by that demographic but shortly they were all I was seeing, which made me wish to not make use of the software any longer and concern the inclusive position.

I rearranged my personal configurations in order that I could complement with Drew and in actual fact perform many games. Some of the we played would not precisely promote us to start-up a discussion though, it thought similar to I became on statement with Friends rather than a dating application. The quizzes were fun, they reminded me personally of the early Buzzfeed days! A few of them, like “Which dictator is it possible you be?” and “what type of emotional terrorist will you be?” may need to end up being removed however.


Throughout the years I used Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, Her, and Fiori — but just the first two for considerable amounts of time. Generally speaking I just stick to Tinder. It has more folks and that I discover that it can be anything you model of it and I like that. But it is certainly not the absolute most palatable place for a queer trans woman and I also’m contemplating greater principle apps thus I’m constantly interested in brand-new options.

XO’s concept is games can function as an icebreaker over a possibly uncomfortable basic information. Whether you are an individual who is actually hesitant to content 1st or perhaps not i actually do consider there’s something towards kinds of original conversations that can be created from a task. It’s exactly why pre-pandemic art gallery dates were my favorite type of date.

Every app calls for different photographs and another tone and whenever we initial attempt a fresh software I could default to my personal Tinder usuals, but we’ll rapidly modify. With XO I made a decision to slice certainly my personal five pictures and never include a lot of information beyond the bio I prefer on Tinder. We stopped selecting a gender on apps sometime ago because “transgender female” always decided a warning or an apology also it need neither. My personal transness is essential for me and it surely will probably come up quickly, but also for me having it back at my profile centered it such that started initially to feel incorrect. I think i am pretty visibly trans anyway. But occasionally I do match with folks once they realize i am trans they unmatch. I do believe maybe part of me personally desires to enjoy that to validate what I can occasionally just sense. That said used to do value that XO left area to create in any gender you would like.

Dani Janae:

Generally, I have almost no a cure for internet dating applications. The final individual I’d a significant union with we found because she is at a conference we performed at. My final several months of online dating app connections have gone me personally certain that i will not discover anybody on an app and will have to go back into satisfying people in person. Really, in a pandemic with all my shows obtaining terminated or going online, I’m seriously straight back on applications. It’s my job to keep it to Tinder therefore I ended up being awesome excited to use another app with a separate gimmick than other ones I have seen.

The typical format of XO is pretty precious. I like it moves away from the swipe right, swipe left model of additional programs, even though my hands have actually that impulse whenever I’m scrolling. I believe the font is actually a tiny bit cutesy but i am particular about this sort of material. I do like this you’ll find video games, I’ve only played those dreaded, they fill up a fairly small amount of time and might be outstanding ice breaker. I’ven’t really matched up with anyone yet so I’m optimistic to see what its prefer to hinge a conversation around one of them games.

Something that may be controversial but that I absolutely liked was actually the choice to put your race and ethnicity on your own profile. As somebody that highly prefers to date various other black females or WOC, its nice for some body self determine thus I don’t have to perform some guess-work. It might without a doubt. My big problem because of the software usually there is one-one it, therefore the people who are about it are way too youthful for my situation. I got big mommy issues and love older women so getting my options as a result of in which they might be was a problem for me personally.

This feels like queer pandering and I also relish it.
Like all online dating applications, cis guys will find you regardless of the choice.


XO seems to be much more for those who have a tough time starting a discussion, in case that is everyone else on the software i’m like y’all are likely to hold doing offers no one will in actuality chat, save for a LOL or two during a casino game.

The Wingman choice, in which an unknown 3rd individual is dropped into the talk to enhance it if this stalls, may seem like continuously stress and just does not convert well into an electronic area. I really do find it probably stimulating visitors to maybe not ghost and become more initial about maybe not continuing on when the preliminary interest doesn’t get past multiple messages.

Additionally skews means younger, feels like it really is even more for all the TikTok young people of the world. The sort of application you utilize whenever many pals are over and might utilize an inexpensive make fun of after the 3rd Smirnoff Ice.

I like it if there have been just one or two video games; there are a lot of possibilities and also the games need to be even more personality-based. You attracting a chicken and me personally speculating the goals don’t help me to learn if you should be planning take a look at myself disgusted whenever I request you to spit during my mouth.

This software actually for my situation; Really don’t just like the video game element. It is too cutesy and until you’re tired of swiping and merely would you like to perform literal video games, I quickly question it’ll be for you both.


I’m not the prospective audience with this application for two reasons. 1) I agree with Shelli it definitely skews younger and 2) I’m not somebody who is simply too frightened to content men and women on matchmaking apps.

HAVING SAID THAT. You can find reasons for having this application i prefer. Primarily i do believe the online game part supplies a task and considering the pandemic avoiding normal online dating a task of any sort could be welcome. Shelli and that I matched therefore we could perform a few of the video games and I think they are the right model of silly for this variety of thing. I also really like exactly how your own profile can prominently show your sunshine indication with a lovely little graphic. Indeed, We loved all the sweet small graphics and the common format on the application.

The greatest issue at this time could there be just aren’t many men and women in the app. I actually majorly prolonged my personal age and range configurations whilst still being easily swiped through offered individuals. I’m not sure how a new matchmaking application attracts the necessary clients to really make it usable but XO does not feel just like its indeed there yet.

This will not be my personal application of choice, but I am able to see the appeal for people who feel caught in internet dating app small talk — particularly if more people joined up with.

Dani Janae:

Once this application will get more individuals on it In my opinion it is pretty enjoyable. You can rely on the expertise while the convenience of a Tinder or OkCupid but giving these smaller, much more daring programs a try could be the means of the long run. The application is apparently swallowing utilizing the 18-21 age range, probably because of the game part, but again folks discover it I’m sure the product range are certain to get some greater. I’m nevertheless making use of various other apps far more than that one, so that as I stated, have not discovered a match yet so it definitely will not be my personal check-out nevertheless has possible.

Swipe right.
The most common picture with this software.

Before going!

It costs cash to produce indie queer news, and honestly, we need even more users to survive 2023

As thanks for SIMPLY keeping you live, A+ people get access to added bonus material, extra Saturday puzzles, and more!

Would you join?

Terminate whenever.

Join A+!

Visit official